My Dear Fellow Travelers,

EXPATRIATE LETTERS ®

Jews vs. Christians vs. Arabs

Introducing letters from Falwell and God

24 Apr 1999

Mr. Chamish,

Attached hereto is my answer to the preoccupations noted in your Golem piece on, Non Jews Behind Kosovo. Concerning whether those ‘Jews’ high in the US government are real Jews or closet Christians; or Philistines, and/or on the Board of Directors of that great Offshore funded corporation, National Security Act 1947 (et.al.) Inc.

Regardless, you seem to be missing the big picture here : WE ARE THE BEST!! Therefore, as another old kingdom, Great Britain, long ago decided, you should give up and get in the lock-step program behind your Big goyem Brother, America. After, all we saved European civilization in two major wars?; so tiny Israel is a veritable piece of cake for US!, to keep safe from neighborhood mice.

Israel’s biggest psyche mistake is in imagining you are the Cat, ready willing and able, since 1948, to pounce anywhere so inspired, or, rather, so divined to do so. You seem to have forgotten history’s lessons : that America has lifted weights much longer than Israel and NO ONE kicks sand in our faces on any beach in the world - specially where resource and people economics are the muscle exploitation game played out under our sun.

It may be smart, also not to forget those sage teachings gestated to the East, from which much of your own testaments have descended to be later dramatized around campfires over two thousand years. Particularly apropos, perhaps, is this ancient Indus Valley truism : "Only dogs and Englishmen stay out in the noonday sun."

The very best of luck, though, as you modernize your old wisdom while concurrently existing between the desert and a hard place. The Shah of Persia tried his utmost, using America's BEST technology and BRIGHTEST personnel, only to find his program surrounded by enemies foretelling canonical signs of failure. I wish you better fortune.

richard manning

PS: Listen my son - as the old Talmudic wise men used to put it - Why not try Zen? All that path demands (nay, advises) of you is to avoid desires and aversions as best the weak human species can. Therewith one can limit acting like a consumer, of anything, including special Chosen obligations and salvations. On such path through the wilderness - even through the most barren deserts of the world (or is it desserts? I keeping forgetting) - neighbors are friendlier and life is more peaceful.

Shalom, brother.

Letters from Jerry Falwell & God

Would like to get the messages of these two important advisers to the American electorate published as far and wide as possible. What may be divined is that radical pen of one Thomas Paine, or like irreverent iconoclast, behind my having been targeted to receive such superlative loaded missives. Though humbly admitting I am still digesting the portent of it all, all prayers during this time of ethical questioning are appreciated. Sincerely yours in,

richard manning

Letter # 1: Our New World Order : Promoting Latest Chosen People Syndrome

Preface: To Whom It May Concern (‘It’ = Personal Power, or PP) :

The following letter seems to have come from Jerry Falwell but I’m not sure, for it does not sort of ring true with his normal semantic usage. Then again, a friend suggested, with Jerry being on double doses of Viagra + Valium during the latest of Christian power proselytizing in Yugoslavia he may just start speaking in tongues.

I asked, "Why, what’s that got to do with it?"

To which my friend replied, "Well, Dole advised him to double up his medication. For when Dole hit double doses he got all hyped, forcing his wife to escape the resulting power trip by fleeing the house. Thusly she began her campaign for President, home credentials & all. Then said she believes in an invasion of Kosovo."

Thanks to a confused look on my face, he continued, "Don’t you get it? 2 X Viagra + 2 X Valium = double V, a positive catalyst, attracting negative energy, thusly : Patriotic Valor + Christian Valor, or 2V+2V = PV+PV.

It was clearer but, as a perfectionist, I asked, "What does the 'P' sign mean? And where's the 'C' element?"

He responded, "P is the ancient Phallic sign. And Christianity, as a natural catalyst to Patriotism, loses its raison d'etre to turn into PP. Even a child can understand that!" He voice pleaded, impatient for understanding.

I appeared enlightened, so he continued, "Mrs. Falwell was also going to run for President, on the basis of families that Pray together stay together by Penetrating, under the Beltway, into the DC Power structure, where they finally obtain access, both to the Lincoln Bedroom (LB) and to high level Plenary Prayer sessions with Patriarchal Plutocrats. Such sessions are secretly known within the Trilateral Commission and the Council on Foreign Relations as the PP PP PP Club." (Women & poor excepted, spolia opima, he added, voce sub rosa).

"Wait!", I said, "You’re confusing me again. What does the LB have to do with it?"

He explained, "Just a fantasy element, that. For once 2V+2V = PV+PV, the double P value = P2, which, as the Italian Opus Dei fraternity divinely taught us, once doubled = P~, minus gender, or The Infinite.

"What’s that?", I asked, once again confused. He clarified, with not a little impatience at my slowness, "P~ equals infinite PROFIT, and that PROFIT is what Copernicus said '…makes the world go around'."

I shook my end several times, mouth open, reflectively, "Oh, now I get it."

So I guess it looks like the next, or next next, President is going to be a woman escaping man's Viagra into the Lincoln Bedroom; or maybe a woman escaping God's Valium into the War Room via Lincoln Bedroom; or possibly a woman escaping a pseudo God on V + V + P~ in the president's kitchen, first into Wall Street, then the Senate, then back into the Lincoln Bedroom. Anyway, that’s patriotically and prayerfully the best I could make out of the following letter from Jerry :

Our New World Order : Promoting Latest Chosen People Syndrome

My Dear Fellow Travelers,

Considering that Amerika has a Clinton worth wonderful record of bombing anywhere we don’t like the people, and Giuliani of NYC has an even better record of abrogating civil rights 41 different ways and acting like a little Hitler over his controlled humanity..., it becomes violence quota obvious that America has the WORLD’S BEST record, and most efficient, moral, ethical and rational leadership to reconstruct ALL the schools in the World, into the BEST places to teach confrontation avoidance, human love & environmental peace - -

TO WIT :

1. With over 40,000 of the world’s BEST police guarding our City Security in NYC, the Mayor can send one cop sporting a 16 copper jacketed hollow point round automatic, w/ 4 extra clips, to every high school in America, as the first line of child defense against quality education,

2. With "National Security" now the biggest and BEST business in the world (no kidding, by the way) with over 3,000,000 employees and some $1 trillion budget (overt + covert + corporate welfare), Clinton, as the second line of child offense, can take some $$$$$ from KOSOVO and give it to the Military Industrial Complex to fast-track produce and target laser guided ‘Bad-Child’ baby cruise missiles at any classroom, even particular students, violating the BEST (sorry I meant ‘only’) Superpower’s New World Order guidelines on the BEST moral thinking and action in the entire World,

3. Any impolite kids left over from 1 and 2 we send to either Afghanistan, Sudan, Iraq, Iran, North Korea, China, Japan, Indochina, Indonesia, Nicaragua et. al., Colombia et. al., Serbia, Turkey et. al., Kuwait et. al., Kenya & Tanzania et. al., or even Palestine, as hostages until those countries come into full voluntary compliance with the world’s BEST Way of Life : including State of the Art military and intelligence budgets, school safety detectors, anodyne PC party rules, secure prison systems, safe sex games, a turn key Hallmark Greeting Cards plant, many lawyers and Chachita bananas, plus, finally, videos teaching them how to Smile at Your Customer while saying "Have a good day", etc., etc.

THEREOF, and in that, we are the BEST SUPERPOWER and the BEST moral and physical fiscal Policeman of The Entire World, with such intrepid leaders as Clinton, Giuliani, and all the BEST morally courageous Generals, Admirals, Central Intelligence Directors and CongressPersons in the world, plus the BEST protected former Presidents extant, there is no doubt in my mind that we can soon have the BEST schools in the world, just as we already have the BEST democracy in the world, the BEST advanced civilization since the Garden of Eden, the BEST Laissez Faire Capitalism in the world..., all of which conclusions being based on our Chosen People Syndrome of Superiority, that mystic granting of graces trickling down over the BEST, MOST ABRAHAMIC, God Blessed religious citizens in the entire universe, bar none, period, full stop.

And, if we hurrrry, EVERYONE in the world, all those who honor and respect our vibrantly wealthy BEST Way of Life can follow close behind the world’s BEST moral example..., but not TOO close, so we can always guarantee every American a first reserved seat in the BEST part of HEAVEN..., as we move from our earthly Arcadia to our eternal rewards as righteous and just Citizens of the BEST country on Earth, this GREAT LAND (as the valiant Seminole warrior Osceola noted in 1837).

GOD BLESS AMERICA (including Clinton, Giuliani, and all our other BEST self righteous HYPOCRITES)

Jerry Falwell

Letter # 2 : God’s Boxes Of Love

Preface

BUT, attention, there must be a virus embedded in Letter # 1 for immediately upon forwarding it to a group of carefully selected friends, I received the following anonymous letter. Shyly forwarded from God, I think. (am not sure only because I did not copy HIM Falwell’s letter - and shall swear so on any sanctioned Bible). Therefore, if this below prosody is truly from God himself - and it may well be, for somewhere it is written He spoke in verse to Adam and Eve - and not a Satanic trick, the following Letter # 2 proves HIS omniscience, if not his potency AE (after Eden). So beware of any similar virus sneaking into you via the following email message speculatively sent by Yahweh. Caveat emptor, my dear friends, in Christ (added security, in case I’m right) : .

God’s Boxes Of Love

I have in my hands two boxes

Which God gave me to hold

He said, "Put all your sorrows in the black,

And all your joys in the gold."

I heeded His words, and in the two boxes

Both my joys and sorrows I store

But though the gold became heavier each day

The black was as light as before

With curiosity, I opened the black

I wanted to find out why

And I saw, in the base of the box, a hole

Which my sorrows had fallen out by

I showed the hole to God, and mused aloud,

"I wonder where my sorrows could be."

He smiled a gentle smile at me.

"My child, they’re all here with me."

I asked, "God, why give me the boxes,

Why the gold, and the black with the hole?"

"My child, the gold is for you to count your blessings,

the black is for you to let go."

We should consider all of our friends a blessing. Send this to

a friend today just to let them know that you are thinking of them,

and that they are a joy in your life.

signed,

...an anonymous admirer

PS : Must be from God, for only HE could admire me so anonymously.

nyc, 4/22/99